Ilena

9th August 2004
Today started with apprehension. I kept feeling burning sensations. Iman helped by massaging my back. And she began to time the pain. By 1.55am, we kind of decided it must be it. We went to the Club at about 2.30am to get the hospital form and tie up some loose ends about the Founding Day.Left the Club about 3.45am, got something to eat, fueled up and picked up Iman's medication. Rudi was very obliging as I was in pain most times.

Iman took over at 6.00am, counting contractions and doing Lamaze with me together.By the time the contactions were 12 to 15 minutes apart, we left for Ampang Puteri. Iman skipped school. Inas gave me a kiss at the door and Ira waved goodbye with a kiss at Auntie Fawziah's.

Ampang Puteri was heavenly. Iman continued to be great company while Daddy settled us in and paid the deposit. Iman is only ten! With her storybook in hand, she looked so grownup. Hard to imagine, just 10years and 8 months ago, I was at Tawakal, about to give birth to this young lady.

Then she had to wait outside the Labour Ward with the nurse all by herself. She looked so brave.

In the labour room, i got ready and was given pethadin and gas. I was 4 cm dilated by the time we got there. Juliana called about the newsletter. Rudi went to check on Iman. About 1 1/2 hours later, with no real pain, I was about 8cm dilated. Dr Amir came in to break my water. Mostly, I slept. Very soon after, everything was more intense. At 12.48pm, Ilena was born. Crying out loud, dispelling my fears. Perfect.

Daddy went out to tell Iman and I breast fed Ilena 15 minutes later.

Adorable.

I saw Iman at the ward an hour later. She looked very mature, we had our first 'birds and bees' talk. She continued to take care of me while Daddy left to pick up some stuff.

All the while, I was thinking , Thank God. Thank God for Rudi. For Iman.

Daddy came back with Inas, Ira and Mak Lang. Inas needed reassurance and I hugged her. Ira was assertive about Ilena. Iman wanted to be around longer but Tuesday comes with exams. I was worried about the girls but finally they were OK.

Beautiful flowers from Mr Mah and kak Dayang and a message from Ita. I hummed the lullaby Annastasia to Ilena. Who was a great continuous ferocious feeder. Just before the night was over, thought of Olympic greats Katarina Witt and nadia.

Dreams og greatness for my little wonder.

15th August 2004

Love.

I t was so easy to forget how much love there is surrounding the birth of a baby as the day was consumed by daily activities and essential chores.

Left on my own, it was easier to reflect on the love we are blessed with.

How Ira wakes up with a possesive thoughts over Ilena, how Inas cuddles close to Ilena while watching TV, how Kak Long helps out with everything to make me feel at ease - Rudi, as always, a tower of dependability and strength.

* Ilena was named after Helen of Troy. Her name, Nadessia Ilena means hope and light.